Who is to blame for the lack of good Cuban Sandwiches in Fishtown? (third and final vote)

dan's picture
President Bush
46% (16 votes)
New Kenzo
54% (19 votes)
Total votes: 35
dan's picture

okay, these were the two big

okay, these were the two big favorites, but neither one had a majority (although New Kenzo was clearly ahead)

So, here's your final vote on who to blame for the lack of good Cuban sandwiches in Fishtown

Nunzio's picture

I know Bush is the one who

I know Bush is the one who appears to be calling the shots, but we all know New Kenzo is the power behind the throne, so I voted for New Kenzo.

Maggie's picture

oooh! Neck-and-neck! :-)

oooh! Neck-and-neck! :-)

jmminarik's picture

This is a catch-22 poll.

This is a catch-22 poll.

Cajunmoon's picture

I assume trying to get a

I assume trying to get a good Cuban sandwich in Fishtown is like me trying to find a Philly cheese steak sandwich in South Florida?

Spiral's picture

Nunzio wrote:I know Bush is

Nunzio wrote:

I know Bush is the one who appears to be calling the shots, but we all know New Kenzo is the power behind the throne, so I voted for New Kenzo.

He's the new Karl Rove a.k.a turd blossom

dan's picture

Cajunmoon wrote:I assume

Cajunmoon wrote:

I assume trying to get a good Cuban sandwich in Fishtown is like me trying to find a Philly cheese steak sandwich in South Florida?

It's even worse.
There's nobody in Fishtown who even pretends to sell Cuban sandwiches.

ken215's picture

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!

NEW KENZO's picture

Spiral wrote: He's the new

Spiral wrote:

He's the new Karl Rove a.k.a turd blossom

Wow Spiral, too bad you never showed for quizzo. That was one of the answers: what nickname did Bush give Rove: "_____blossom". I dont think anyone got it either.

NEW KENZO's picture

Spiral wrote: He's the new

Spiral wrote:

He's the new Karl Rove a.k.a turd blossom

Wow Spiral, too bad you never showed for quizzo. That was one of the answers: what nickname did Bush give Rove: "_____blossom". I dont think anyone got it either.

Spiral's picture

NEW KENZO wrote:Spiral

NEW KENZO wrote:
Spiral wrote:

He's the new Karl Rove a.k.a turd blossom

Wow Spiral, too bad you never showed for quizzo. That was one of the answers: what nickname did Bush give Rove: "_____blossom". I dont think anyone got it either.

Sorry, I drank all day at the Phillies game and decided to lay down for a minute before heading over to Quizzo- I never got up though

Jabara Fractus's picture

Good thing this is by

Good thing this is by popular vote and not the electoral college ... Bush has won two too many elections as it is.

neilpuck's picture

Actually our team got the

Actually our team got the answer right to that Question. Nyah!

tudor's picture

You mean everyone else got

You mean everyone else got to vote twice already? No fair!

ken215's picture

CAN WE CUT OFF KENZO'S HEAD

CAN WE CUT OFF KENZO'S HEAD YET??????

Cajunmoon's picture

dan wrote:Cajunmoon wrote:I

dan wrote:
Cajunmoon wrote:

I assume trying to get a good Cuban sandwich in Fishtown is like me trying to find a Philly cheese steak sandwich in South Florida?

It's even worse.
There's nobody in Fishtown who even pretends to sell Cuban sandwiches.

Do you think there would be a call for such a business in or near Fishtown that would warrant such a venture? I know there are loads of places I was wondering!

"Love your neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge."
-Benjamin Franklin

george's picture

Given the fact that Steve

Given the fact that Steve Carlton, Jerome Brown, and Bill Conti (who wrote the 'Rocky' theme) all hailed from Miami, it shouldn't be all that difficult to execute a proper Cuban Sandwich here. In fact, it would be an altogether fitting civic tribute---payback if you will---to the contributions South Florida has made to the Delaware Valley (we even gave you NORMAN BRAMAN for God's sake, you ingrates!)

We have the ham.

We have the pork.

Swiss cheese and pickles are abundant.

Bread is the sticking point. REAL Cuban bread is made with lard. Crusty on top...doughy, chewy, and baked with greasy animal innards on the inside. Mmmmm.

Our quest is to find that...along with a proper sandwich press and a gaggle of anti-Castro geriatrics fueled by 18 thimblefulls of Cuban coffee to add "authenticity" (along with implausible tales of sneaking exploding cigars into Havana circa 1970).

And---once assembled--- the sandwich is cut DIAGONALLY. Some of you lazy heathens have forgotten this crucial element. You may as well forget to attach wings to a hummingbird or rip the security-guard nameplate off Gary Coleman's chest. It is cut diagonally at a VERY severe angle to expedite rapid consumption and gluttony. It's all about RESPECT for this sandwich. And respect in this case comes from not treating this Most Holy of meals like some patchouli-scented aging hippie cutting their guacamole, lettuce and sprout wrap with a butter knife between puffs on their water pipe. This is a MEAT sandwich.

(Global Warming will take care of the palm trees and Miami Beach on the Delaware part...I already have yucca and pineapples sprouting on Day St.)

(also--- Speedo-wearing 350 lb. men from Quebec covered in coconut oil will appear...ignore them and refuse their advances)

The true and honest Cuban Sandwich WILL appear in Philadelphia, and its perfect manifestation is part of Fishtown's destiny.

I trust that all of us will be here when the glorious day arrives. Even Swally (Oh, how we miss him). We will OWN the Cuban Sandwich and its arrival with be heralded with trumpets, pageantry, and children's songs.

In the meantime, this is definitely New Kenzo's fault.

Who's to blame for the crappy pizza?

NEW KENZO's picture

Dam, after that George, you

Dam, after that George, you even convinced ME!

I just wish we had a friend, an insider if you will, that could get a local joint, like Johnny Brenda's, to serve such a morsal. BUT WHO? WHO COULD/WOULD THAT BE?
...the search goes on.
Let's pull together folks. Surely someone knows someone.

george wrote:

Given the fact that Steve Carlton, Jerome Brown, and Bill Conti (who wrote the 'Rocky' theme) all hailed from Miami, it shouldn't be all that difficult to execute a proper Cuban Sandwich here. In fact, it would be an altogether fitting civic tribute---payback if you will---to the contributions South Florida has made to the Delaware Valley (we even gave you NORMAN BRAMAN for God's sake, you ingrates!)

We have the ham.

We have the pork.

Swiss cheese and pickles are abundant.

Bread is the sticking point. REAL Cuban bread is made with lard. Crusty on top...doughy, chewy, and baked with greasy animal innards on the inside. Mmmmm.

Our quest is to find that...along with a proper sandwich press and a gaggle of anti-Castro geriatrics fueled by 18 thimblefulls of Cuban coffee to add "authenticity" (along with implausible tales of sneaking exploding cigars into Havana circa 1970).

And---once assembled--- the sandwich is cut DIAGONALLY. Some of you lazy heathens have forgotten this crucial element. You may as well forget to attach wings to a hummingbird or rip the security-guard nameplate off Gary Coleman's chest. It is cut diagonally at a VERY severe angle to expedite rapid consumption and gluttony. It's all about RESPECT for this sandwich. And respect in this case comes from not treating this Most Holy of meals like some patchouli-scented aging hippie cutting their guacamole, lettuce and sprout wrap with a butter knife between puffs on their water pipe. This is a MEAT sandwich.

(Global Warming will take care of the palm trees and Miami Beach on the Delaware part...I already have yucca and pineapples sprouting on Day St.)

(also--- Speedo-wearing 350 lb. men from Quebec covered in coconut oil will appear...ignore them and refuse their advances)

The true and honest Cuban Sandwich WILL appear in Philadelphia, and its perfect manifestation is part of Fishtown's destiny.

I trust that all of us will be here when the glorious day arrives. Even Swally (Oh, how we miss him). We will OWN the Cuban Sandwich and its arrival with be heralded with trumpets, pageantry, and children's songs.

In the meantime, this is definitely New Kenzo's fault.

Who's to blame for the crappy pizza?

That's right, I live in subsidized housing...and you're jealous.

george's picture

NEW KENZO wrote:I just wish

NEW KENZO wrote:

I just wish we had a friend, an insider if you will, that could get a local joint, like Johnny Brenda's, to serve such a morsal. BUT WHO? WHO COULD/WOULD THAT BE?
...the search goes on.
Let's pull together folks. Surely someone knows someone.

They are Food Nazis.

That's not a bad thing when it comes to buying local...staying fresh...sticking with what you do best (except for the inexplicably thin and greasy fries) etc.

But experimenting with the menu is a rare thing. I mentioned Cuban Sandwiches a LONG time ago and it was met with uncomprehending derision...along with more challenging stuff like home-made Gnocchi and Cioppino. Stuff like that SOUNDS "fancy" but it's not at all. It's just good peasant food that can be made great with fresh ingredients---which we already do.

Hey, I'm just the door guy. What do I know?

NEW KENZO's picture

george wrote: Hey, I'm just

george wrote:

Hey, I'm just the door guy. What do I know?

OH YEAH!
I forgot, you work there!
I hadnt even thought of that.
hmmm, maybe when they expand?

george's picture

NEW KENZO wrote: OH YEAH! I

NEW KENZO wrote:

OH YEAH!
I forgot, you work there!
I hadnt even thought of that.
hmmm, maybe when they expand?

If/when the outdoor seating exists I've already settled on "Bernadette" as my working name for THAT.

You will refer to me as such if you want service.

I am determined to make JB's a center of "bitchy queen" customer relations in Fishtown...along with the ability to talk knowledgeably about NFL football.

It's good to find your calling, y'know?

NEW KENZO's picture

george wrote:NEW KENZO

george wrote:
NEW KENZO wrote:

OH YEAH!
I forgot, you work there!
I hadnt even thought of that.
hmmm, maybe when they expand?

If/when the outdoor seating exists I've already settled on "Bernadette" as my working name for THAT.

You will refer to me as such if you want service.

I am determined to make JB's a center of "bitchy queen" customer relations in Fishtown...along with the ability to talk knowledgeably about NFL football.

It's good to find your calling, y'know?

FYI: Ive decided to call you "Bernadette" for now on regardless of when and where.

jmminarik's picture

george wrote: If/when the

george wrote:

If/when the outdoor seating exists I've already settled on "Bernadette" as my working name for THAT.

You will refer to me as such if you want service.

You should make them sing to you your theme song:

TheFourTops wrote:

Bernadette, they want you because of the pride that gives,
But Bernadette, I want you because I need you to live.
But while I live only to hold you,
Some other men, they long to control you.
But how can they control you Bernadette,
when they can not control themselves, Bernadette,
from wanting you, needing you,
But darling you belong to me.

george's picture

jmminarik wrote:You should

jmminarik wrote:

You should make them sing to you your theme song:

TheFourTops wrote:

Bernadette, they want you because of the pride that gives,
But Bernadette, I want you because I need you to live.
But while I live only to hold you,
Some other men, they long to control you.
But how can they control you Bernadette,
when they can not control themselves, Bernadette,
from wanting you, needing you,
But darling you belong to me.

Agreed....Along with:

In you I have what other men long for.
All men need someone to worship and adore,
That's why I treasure you and place you high above,
For the only joy in life is to be loved.
So whatever you do, Bernadette, keep on loving me,
Bernadette, keep on needing me,
Bernadette.

Now THAT'S the way to talk to somebody in the service industry.

Kat's picture

george wrote:jmminarik

george wrote:
jmminarik wrote:

You should make them sing to you your theme song:

TheFourTops wrote:

Bernadette, they want you because of the pride that gives,
But Bernadette, I want you because I need you to live.
But while I live only to hold you,
Some other men, they long to control you.
But how can they control you Bernadette,
when they can not control themselves, Bernadette,
from wanting you, needing you,
But darling you belong to me.

Agreed....Along with:

In you I have what other men long for.
All men need someone to worship and adore,
That's why I treasure you and place you high above,
For the only joy in life is to be loved.
So whatever you do, Bernadette, keep on loving me,
Bernadette, keep on needing me,
Bernadette.

Now THAT'S the way to talk to somebody in the service industry.

FEEL the love!!! :)

Lisa33's picture

george wrote:Given the fact

george wrote:

Given the fact that Steve Carlton, Jerome Brown, and Bill Conti (who wrote the 'Rocky' theme) all hailed from Miami, it shouldn't be all that difficult to execute a proper Cuban Sandwich here. In fact, it would be an altogether fitting civic tribute---payback if you will---to the contributions South Florida has made to the Delaware Valley (we even gave you NORMAN BRAMAN for God's sake, you ingrates!)

We have the ham.

We have the pork.

Swiss cheese and pickles are abundant.

Bread is the sticking point. REAL Cuban bread is made with lard. Crusty on top...doughy, chewy, and baked with greasy animal innards on the inside. Mmmmm.

Our quest is to find that...along with a proper sandwich press and a gaggle of anti-Castro geriatrics fueled by 18 thimblefulls of Cuban coffee to add "authenticity" (along with implausible tales of sneaking exploding cigars into Havana circa 1970).

And---once assembled--- the sandwich is cut DIAGONALLY. Some of you lazy heathens have forgotten this crucial element. You may as well forget to attach wings to a hummingbird or rip the security-guard nameplate off Gary Coleman's chest. It is cut diagonally at a VERY severe angle to expedite rapid consumption and gluttony. It's all about RESPECT for this sandwich. And respect in this case comes from not treating this Most Holy of meals like some patchouli-scented aging hippie cutting their guacamole, lettuce and sprout wrap with a butter knife between puffs on their water pipe. This is a MEAT sandwich.

(Global Warming will take care of the palm trees and Miami Beach on the Delaware part...I already have yucca and pineapples sprouting on Day St.)

(also--- Speedo-wearing 350 lb. men from Quebec covered in coconut oil will appear...ignore them and refuse their advances)

The true and honest Cuban Sandwich WILL appear in Philadelphia, and its perfect manifestation is part of Fishtown's destiny.

I trust that all of us will be here when the glorious day arrives. Even Swally (Oh, how we miss him). We will OWN the Cuban Sandwich and its arrival with be heralded with trumpets, pageantry, and children's songs.

In the meantime, this is definitely New Kenzo's fault.

Who's to blame for the crappy pizza?

Wow, George, this speech is worthy of John Milch. I'm picturing it spoken by Ed O'Neill as his character in John From Cincinatti.

DNA's picture

Being that Kenzo doesn't

Being that Kenzo doesn't live in or even like Fishtown, it is obvious that he is the lynch pin in a pro-Castro underground movement to prevent Cuban culture from reaching us. It is kinda like a reverse embargo. They don't want to encourage American sympathy and want to keep all the good Cuban stuff for themselves. Sadly, there will be no Cuban sandwiches in Fishtown until we end the practice of subsidized housing in the U.S. BTW, Kenzo in Spanish means "boy with beady eyes".

NEW KENZO's picture

DNA wrote:Being that Kenzo

DNA wrote:

Being that Kenzo doesn't live in or even like Fishtown, it is obvious that he is the lynch pin in a pro-Castro underground movement to prevent Cuban culture from reaching us. It is kinda like a reverse embargo. They don't want to encourage American sympathy and want to keep all the good Cuban stuff for themselves. Sadly, there will be no Cuban sandwiches in Fishtown until we end the practice of subsidized housing in the U.S. BTW, Kenzo in Spanish means "boy with beady eyes".

It's not true that I dislike Fishtown, just old elvis impersonators, that's all.

And, anyone that's met the new kenzo knows that he has big bulgy eyes, not beady eyes. Maybe your cataracts are impeding your vision?

Spiral's picture

NEW KENZO wrote:And, anyone

NEW KENZO wrote:

And, anyone that's met the new kenzo knows that he has big bulgy eyes, not beady eyes. Maybe your cataracts are impeding your vision?

You are now referring to yourself in the third person? The Spiral thinks thats lame.

The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.

DNA's picture

The DNA is laughing.

The DNA is laughing.