Personal ads... take 4.

qbert4578's picture

Just thought it was time for another round:

- "I'm looking for nothing specific" (Awesome...)

- "Only Interested in a Black women who like to watch TV comedy In addition to other shows like drama and crime. Seems that I been running into a lot of females who only like Law Order and that's it. I like to be able to sit with a black female and laugh at something also in addition to watching a serious program." (But yet, he e-mailed me!)

- "i'm ready to settle and you have to be aswell" (Not settle down, just "settle.")

- "If you're insecure, immature, or broke, please click on an icon at the top of this page and leave my page."

- "im vry easy to get along with people i meet get attatched to me very quickly because im so good looking."

- "On our dream first date, my match and I would go on a cruise ship."

- "We can go anywhere you want for dinner, except Chinese food---- it dosen't sit well with my stomach." (Good to know.)

- "You realize the age-old aphorisms toward universal beauty are discounted only in the minds of the majority who are imprisoned within the artificial distractions of propaganda and debt; for this is at least some of the basis for hegemony waging war over its subjects." (Um, what?)

- "I am 45, but I would consider dating somebody younger than 28 years if she is at least ostensibly precocious."

- "I usually read a multitude of books or journals at any given time. Currently I'm reading the Physicians Desk Reference, a book on metalloenzymology, literature on the Stalinist-Putin System, one on the rise of Ba'athism in Syria; and the Scientifica." (Seriously?)

- "I've never taken online dating seriously. I've created this profile just to be able to look around the site. If ever I'm truly interested in giving it a serious attempt, I'll add photos and respond to the rest of the survey."

- "She needs to be good morlas she should be close to her familey she needs to be sexually able to communcate just make life the best she is given.shes needs to be romantic. I feel i am everthing i ask for in a woman i am all of thoses things in some degree nobody is perfuct I am just looking for a freind, wife ,mother and my soul mate."

- "Oh i just want to give a shout out to say my mom dad and my nepthew and neice oh my olderbrother too LOL."

- "hi, my name is samuel im 6.1 feet and also whit in compertion i like making friends and reading books, and also like playing soccer and golf as will lesting to music like regge hippop and also like driving around going to moves."

lauraska's picture

That's it...my future

That's it...my future children are getting tutors, just for grammar. I am NOT going to have a child who grows up to write like these people. Yikes.

newcomer's picture

qbert4578 wrote:- "You

qbert4578 wrote:

- "You realize the age-old aphorisms toward universal beauty are discounted only in the minds of the majority who are imprisoned within the artificial distractions of propaganda and debt; for this is at least some of the basis for hegemony waging war over its subjects."

Sounds like one of my grad school papers though I believe I opted for the term "cultural hegemony." Whatever that meant.

brooke's picture

I remember when I not only

I remember when I not only used the word "hegemony" but knew what it meant. Those were the days.

dan's picture

I remember the days when I

I remember the days when I used words like "phallologocentrism" just because it made professors give me a point or two more than if I used "hegemony".

It's memories like that which make me think Allan Bloom might have had a point.

netable's picture

qbert' your still doing that

qbert' your still doing that online dating thingy? Sheesh, I told you, put the cats up for Adoption' and get yourself a DOG' I saw a lovely Shiloh Shepard at the Park yesterday, He was HUGE' and so FLUFFY. and he looked so Strong, that would get all Guys attention' they would be flocking to you =)

Single Ladies' there are lots of Single men at the PARKS, GO, GO, and Getum..............

qbert4578's picture

I kind of took a break from

I kind of took a break from the on-line dating thing... just had had enough. I still check my messages here and there and browse the sites, but that's about it. These were just some gems that stood out. ;)

codergrrl's picture

These are the best arguments

These are the best arguments for staying single that I have ever seen.

stilljes's picture

It seems like your ad

It seems like your ad inspires 1/2 pretentious, professorial responses and 1/2 barely literate responses. I like the Chinese food guy. He's in the middle.

brooke's picture

Um, two dogs + me still

Um, two dogs + me still equal a very single Brooke.

lauraska's picture

Qbert, you and I should get

Qbert, you and I should get together and share our internet dating horror stories. I have a few, but I doubt most of them are legal for this forum...

There is one, although I might have posted about it in the last Qbert Internet Ads post...

The guy's ad said he was an attorney (I was a law student at the time and he'd gone to my law school...sounds good so far), he was 5'8" (I'm 5'6"), and his picture was of him in a tux at a friends wedding, looking very handsome. We agreed to meet for drinks in the Wall Street area, since I was working down there that summer, at a non-profit. He showed up...he was at LEAST two inches shorter than me (so 5'4" or less?), wearing these gigantic coke-bottle glasses that were NOT in his tuxedo picture, and he had a very bizarre facial tic. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't normally judge a dude on this...but he LIED in his ad! LIED! The best part was that he emailed me, from his blackberry, about a half hour after our one-drink date ended, to tell me that he just didn't feel a spark. I think I actually printed out the email and hung it on the fridge in my apartment because it was so funny.

netable's picture

lauraska wrote:Qbert, you

lauraska wrote:

Qbert, you and I should get together and share our internet dating horror stories. I have a few, but I doubt most of them are legal for this forum...

There is one, although I might have posted about it in the last Qbert Internet Ads post...

The guy's ad said he was an attorney (I was a law student at the time and he'd gone to my law school...sounds good so far), he was 5'8" (I'm 5'6"), and his picture was of him in a tux at a friends wedding, looking very handsome. We agreed to meet for drinks in the Wall Street area, since I was working down there that summer, at a non-profit. He showed up...he was at LEAST two inches shorter than me (so 5'4" or less?), wearing these gigantic coke-bottle glasses that were NOT in his tuxedo picture, and he had a very bizarre facial tic. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't normally judge a dude on this...but he LIED in his ad! LIED! The best part was that he emailed me, from his blackberry, about a half hour after our one-drink date ended, to tell me that he just didn't feel a spark. I think I actually printed out the email and hung it on the fridge in my apartment because it was so funny.

Most Guys I know' that Are not at Least 5'10" usually add 2 inches to their height =)
If a Guy say's he is 5'8" it's probably more like 5'6", not that I ever need to worry' I'm almost 4'11" =)

dan's picture

brooke wrote:Um, two dogs +

brooke wrote:

Um, two dogs + me still equal a very single Brooke.

When you require a minimum height, minimum salary, and male model looks, you narrow the field rather rapidly.

ken215's picture

So, which one did you pick?

So, which one did you pick?

th's picture

dan wrote:brooke wrote:Um,

dan wrote:
brooke wrote:

Um, two dogs + me still equal a very single Brooke.

When you require a minimum height, minimum salary, and male model looks, you narrow the field rather rapidly.

And Dan is already taken. *Sigh*

dan's picture

th wrote:dan wrote:brooke

th wrote:
dan wrote:
brooke wrote:

Um, two dogs + me still equal a very single Brooke.

When you require a minimum height, minimum salary, and male model looks, you narrow the field rather rapidly.

And Dan is already taken. *Sigh*

If minimum height is "average", minimum salary is "pastor pay" - it's me!

jmminarik's picture

dan wrote: If minimum

dan wrote:

If minimum height is "average", minimum salary is "pastor pay" - it's me!

Aren't you due for a vacation? :dontknow: That counts towards 'minimum salary'.

qbert4578's picture

ken215 wrote:So, which one

ken215 wrote:

So, which one did you pick?

None of them! I'm taking a break...

dan's picture

jmminarik wrote:Aren't you

jmminarik wrote:

Aren't you due for a vacation? :dontknow: That counts towards 'minimum salary'.

While I love what I do, I'll gladly trade in 2 of my 4 weeks vacation to get triple my salary, which is what my peers from college are earning. Which is not to say that I'm poor by any means. Even minimum wage in the US puts you in the top 7% of the world, and the poverty level puts you in the top 13%.

netable's picture

Ok' I have never been on a

Ok' I have never been on a Personal Ad thingy before and I was curious' so I went to craigslist, so I didnt have to join anything

Well' "God Bless You Qbert", You are so Brave, because all the ones I read were like retards' ya I said it' and it has nothing to do with mentally challenged people, to me Retards=derelicts

So all you politically Correct peeps that are Ready to Attack, calm down........

Oh' 1 that i thought was funny was PostingID: 1029416843

brooke's picture

dan wrote:brooke wrote:Um,

dan wrote:
brooke wrote:

Um, two dogs + me still equal a very single Brooke.

When you require a minimum height, minimum salary, and male model looks, you narrow the field rather rapidly.

My friends can tell you I'm VERY liberal when it comes to looks (simply because I have unusual taste a lot of times) but minimum height is very, very true and well, yeah, I'm looking for someone gainfully employed. Doesn't have cats seems to be a new requirement as well.

Licensed PA Real Estate Saleperson and PA attorney, Fishtown Resident
Moderator of Fishtown/Northern Liberties/Kensington forum on Phillyblog.com

Lisa33's picture

Wow, Qbert, thanks for

Wow, Qbert, thanks for sharing those. Like Jes said, half of them appear to be rather illiterate, while the other half appear to be unable to communicate outside their graduate thesis.

The one that wishes to go "on a cruise ship" with his "match" is understatedly hilarious to me, for some reason.

newcomer's picture

Lisa33 wrote: The one that

Lisa33 wrote:

The one that wishes to go "on a cruise ship" with his "match" is understatedly hilarious to me, for some reason.

That's going a bit overboard for a first date.

Lisa33's picture

Hahah!

Hahah!

rtsaidred's picture

newcomer wrote:Lisa33

newcomer wrote:
Lisa33 wrote:

The one that wishes to go "on a cruise ship" with his "match" is understatedly hilarious to me, for some reason.

That's going a bit overboard for a first date.

That is so bad that I laughed.

newcomer's picture

Thank you. I channeled DNA

Thank you. I channeled DNA for that one.