Nunzio's fearless predictions for the Eagles offseason

Nunzio's picture

Andy Reid resigns due to health reasons. Seriously.

The Eagles hire Mike Shanahan, who keeps Donovan for at least a season, so that he has time to evaluate Kevin Kolb. In the end, he doesn’t like what he sees and puts together a package to move up in the draft to take two-time Heisman winner and three-time College Football champ Tim Tebow and jumps on the Wildcat offense band wagon. DeSean is already in place and Westbrook’s touches result in much less contact with the opposing team. We’ll win the Superbowl in 2011. B’Dawk will be gone, but B’West will still be here. Donovan will be in Minnesota, fresh off an early round loss in the playoffs. Sorry, sheskrafty.

Here’s who stays next year among our free agents: Tra Thomas, Jon Runyan, Nick Cole, B’Dawk (if he wants to come back). The jury is out on Joselio Hanson, Sean Considine, and Hank Baskett, because their futures depend on the futures of others, as in, if something better comes along, we’ll jump on it. We’d like to keep Correll Buckhalter, but he’s got bigger fish to fry, so he high tails it to Miami (you’re welcome, George). LJ Smith is toast. They're not free agents, but Reggie Brown and Greg Lewis are done, too.

We bring in competition for Akers and Sav, but they prevail and come back next year.

Defensively, not many changes. Lito gets his out, but the question remains for us, what do we get in return? Linebackers get another year’s worth of experience and continue to improve. The D’line can use another speedy pass rusher, but they’re serviceable as is. If the draft presents an opportunity, we’ll take it.

Our biggest need on defense is figuring out the safety position after B’Dawk. Is there anyone on the team who can fill his shoes in a year or two, or do we draft that person? That’s our biggest question.

Our biggest need on offense is a new coach, but we solved that one with the resignation of Andy Reid. Now, we go after a big running back that can pound out 750 yards next season, 3 yards at a time. The best thing is, you know he can get three yards when you need them.

Klecko is a project at fullback, but I think if you tell him now that that will be his position next season, then he’ll have a better year than this year, because he’ll spend the offseason working on blocking techniques and check down routes, rather than the underhand rip and dropping into coverage.

Our big free agent signing is Donovan’s buddy, Ocho Cinco. Together, they take the Eagles on an ill-fated run that is often times exhilarating, but doesn’t get us the Superbowl. We’ll have to wait until Tebow gets here for that one.

Ladies and gentlemen, I may have jumped the shark.

george's picture

Nunzio wrote: We’d like to

Nunzio wrote:

We’d like to keep Correll Buckhalter, but he’s got bigger fish to fry, so he high tails it to Miami (you’re welcome, George).

He'd be a nice backup for Ronnie Brown.

Nice job with the analysis, Nunzio. Agreed the Eagles are in desperate need of a big, physical back but not as sure Westbrook has enough left in the tank to be a top-tier player much longer. Those guys tend to fade pretty fast even though he's a special player.

As far as Miami's offseason wish-list, I'm not greedy at all. I just want Julius Peppers and Anquan Boldin wearing aqua. :)

dan's picture

I predict the Eagles won't

I predict the Eagles won't lose any games between now and June.